The Life of Karl, the Iguana

I was fortunate enough to temporarily escape from my dwelling into the outside world yesterday.  In my adventures, I happened upon a mystical box that appeared to be full of life.  It frightened me a little, but I found myself strangely attracted to the thing.  It turned out to be quite warm to the touch and made a considerable amount of noise.  The racket was too much for this close proximity, so I wandered back a ways.

The box remained sessile, although it appeared to house many small entites, much like the bringer of the food.  They moved around and interacted with other animals, also small in size.  I found myself fixated with the box and lingered a while to examine its contents.  It was entertaining to gaze upon until a phantom black door closed over the front of the small entity house, rendering its inhabitants invisible to my sight.   The box amused me no more and I went to find food.

And now, back to my freshly prepared lettuce.

I just recieved terrible news this morning.  A very dear friend of mine passed away last week after battling with serious tail trauma.

Bob was a stunningly attractive male iguana who had nothing but kindness for all that he encountered.  He spent much of his life traveling, as did I, living in Arizona and parts of Northern California.  He spent his years living with a wonderful couple of bipedal entities that  generously provided him with food, shelter, and a lovely basking area.

While we never met face to face, I have fond memories of  instant messaging with Bob and racking up large phone bills when my own bipedal food provider was out of sight.  He was a very charming male (I would say he charmed the pants off me, but I wear no such garments).  Alas, Bob will be sorely missed.  Rest in peace, my friend.

As I was scouring my dwelling area for bites to eat, I happened to notice a familiar lump of orange fur pearched in a threatening way just beyond the limits of my domain. Every so often this creature would glance back at me through the invisible forcefield between me and the outside world. As there was a limited supply of consumables in immedate area, I was forced to explore the region guarded by the beast.

Strangely, when I pushed at the invisible forcefield, it, as well as the processed tree surrounding it moved forward, allowing for my passage. This happened rapidly, as I used great force. The swinging barrier hit the animal, which lept up with a yelp. I said to myself, “This beast will not keep me from obtaining nourishment,” so I charged at it. I thought I was moving quickly, but the furry monster evaded me and swifly ran toward another barrier, where it cringed and cowered in the corner. Mission accomplished.

Still I did not have food, so I proceeded through another opening, stopping only to nod my head in a threatening fashion to show the orange beast who was the victor.  My reward, as it turned out was a large quantity of peas. 

Yesterday, as I was innocently resting on my perch, I was approached by a hideous beast.  It is only now that I feel comfortable talking about it.  24 hours have passed and still, I shiver.

The fiend approached with a clatter and proceeded to insert a portion of its body into the wall.  This appendage was long and thin and appeared to be attached to its base.  The beast was approximately 1 meter in height, thinner at the top than at its bottom.  Some sort of tubing was coiled at its back.  Like me, its hue was of the greenish sort.  This thing was massive!

Shortly after it tehered itself to the wall, it began making this deafening sound.  It seemed to move around my domain, seemingly blind to my presence.  I must have been in a great hiding place.  Back and forth, this demon roamed, eating everything in its path.  Forward and back, by my waste container, by my food dish, past the portal to the outside world, closer and closer to my location…

Then suddenly, it halted its advance and removed its appendage from the wall, perhaps preparing itself for departure (I hoped).  It retracted its appendage and moved to a position next to the wall.  There it has remained dormant since its tirade.  I dare not approach it for fear it will unleash a second one, perhaps more detrimental to my health.

The ground is now clean, though.

Last night at some point, I was disturbed from my daily resting by a large entity that picked me up and removed me from my perch.  Needless to say, I was horrified.  After regaining my composure, I proceeded to carefully exit my domain through an opening in the wall, somehow made by the said entity.

For a good 10 minutes, I explored the area (one that I had been to before).  Suddenly, the entity returned and once again picked me up.  This time I was in his grasp for a longer period of time.  I was brought to another region where I was placed upon a large, soft, green rock.  Another being was reclining on that very rock, so I decided to creep closer for a better look.

To my chagrin, this new being (having a longer, more curly mane than the other) began making the most horrendous noise.  This noise was coming from what appeared to be its mouth.  It kept repeating and increased in intensity, such that the rock was shaking under me.  Without delay, I high-tailed it out of there.  I believe the first entity was assisting me in the matter, but I could not be sure of its intentions.

To my surprise, I found some nice collard greens on the ground next to the rock.  This pleased me, so I figured I would investigate the second entity once more.  Again, I was greeted with the sound of tympanic membrane peircing screeches.   As soon as it had been done before, the first entity apprehended me and returned me to my lair.

I think I had enough excitement for the day.

I’ve been eating peas.  I tried the “save-some-for-later” tactic, but that only resulted in some very dry, nearly moldy peas.  I think I’m recovering well from the birthing excercise.

Just warming my bottom on this heated rock.  That is all.

So, I laid 20 eggs.  This happened two days ago after a serious nesting effort.  My eggs are currently incubating inside my place of dwelling, carefully gathered amidst some dirt and small bits of tree.  These days I spend my time relaxing and basking, recovering from the laying. 
Also, for some strange reason, it seems that I am being pampered with extra food and water.  I'm really thirsty.  Laying eggs is very taxing.   It's good to have them out. 

My plans to escape to the meadow, green have been thwarted!  The lush trees and greenery were awaiting my comraderie.  Alas…  

My plan was as follows: Sneak, carefully to the window facing the North.  Open the the screen and leap onto the ledge below me.  From there, it was a short jump to freedom.  

Damned if I wasn't apprehended as I was just exiting the room!   

I've found a great place to sit around and relax.  There's this nice blue box that is quite comfortable.  I can just wrap my tail around me and lie there for hours.